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  KMA | The Kiss My Ass Clan

What is KMA?
KMA is a multiplayer gaming clan and community. Members from around the world wage battle in a variety of games, and chat via Teamspeak. To learn more about the origins of KMA ( CLICK HERE )



Where is KMA?
 The majority of KMA members are located in the United States and Great Britain. However, KMA also has many members from around the globe including but not limited to: Australia, Canada, Columbia, Netherlands, Poland, Sweden, Singapore and more....
 

 
Who is KMA?
KMA members are mature gamers with a sense of humor, that gather in a relaxed, fun, & absurd atmosphere. Most, if not all members speak english, but a variety of different languages are in use. Most of our members are mid 20's to late 30's, but also include several mature younger players.
All user information is kept private
Who runs KMA?
KMA GOVERNMENT
KMA is a member run and funded organization. Each game has it's own division here at KMA, and is run independently with it's own founder and leaders. For more info on our command structure, ( click here ) KMA membership is free, but donations are always greatly appreciated
 
Since we are global there is likely someone on at any time day or night! KMA is a member funded non-profit organization and will never have spyware, spam, & other common annoyances.
Image
Join KMA?
1. Get Teamspeak and a Mic/Headset
2. Register for our site and contact us for Teamspeak info
3. Get to know us
4. Find the forum for the game you play and post in the recruiting section.
(if it is locked we are not currently recruiting)
Make sure to tell us Your Age, Your Location, & Spoken Language(s)
Other requirements, and the approval process may vary, depending on division....

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  Search KMA

  Gaming: New Axis and Allies Section

Posted by enzytebob on Friday, January 16, 2009 @ 20:03:33 EST (1149 reads)
Axis and Allies RTS

Well our old A&A section had grown old and tired so it has been replaced by a brand-spankin' new A&A Section
KMA Axis and Allies RTS Main Page
Image Axis and Allies http://www.kma-clan.com/axis-allies-rts-pc-game.html
Check out the dynamic slideshows on "Tips to Help avoid Pausing the Game" and "KMA Random Quotes" with the use of the
Image HighSlide JS Viewer (javascript enabled browser required)

KMA Axis and Allies RTS Screenshots
Image Axis and Allies http://www.kma-clan.com/axis-allies-rts-pc-game-screenshots.html
Check out the dynamic slideshow of 32 high-quality screenshots, with the use of the
Image HighSlide JS Viewer (javascript enabled browser required)

KMA Axis and Allies RTS Recruiting
Image Axis and Allies http://www.kma-clan.com/axis-allies-rts-pc-game-kma-recruiting.html
Cleaned up and simplified recruiting and Clan Rules, plus new features with the use of the
Image HighSlide JS Viewer (javascript enabled browser required)

KMA Axis and Allies RTS Leaders
Image Axis and Allies http://www.kma-clan.com/axis-allies-rts-pc-game-kma-leaders.html
Custom-coded A&A Leaders page that shows dynamic info on clan leaders, such as last visit, reg date, recent posts, etc.
(javascript enabled browser required for some features)

KMA Axis and Allies RTS "Quest for Gold" 2v2 Tournament
Image Axis and Allies http://www.kma-clan.com/axis-allies-rts-pc-game-2v2-tournament-polish-hussars-2008.html
View Results and Download films from our "The Quest for Gold" 2v2 Tournament of March 29th, 2008
(javascript enabled browser required for some features)

KMA Axis and Allies RTS "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly" 1v1 Tournament
Image Axis and Allies http://www.kma-clan.com/axis-allies-rts-pc-game-1v1-tournament-goodfella-2005.html
View Results and Download films from our "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly" 1v1 Tournament of October 14th, 2005
(javascript enabled browser required for some features)

(Read More... | 1 comment | Gaming | Score: 5)

  Gaming: OwN 1v1 Tournament January 25th, 8:00 P.M.

Posted by enzytebob on Wednesday, January 14, 2009 @ 21:42:53 EST (864 reads)

LaMo_CaRwAsH wrote:
Date of tourney: January 25th, 8:00 P.M. east coast USA time (5:00 P.M. west coast USA time)

Last day to sign up for Tourney: January 20th

map: 384x384, Germany, all sliders in middle except for water which will be all the way to the left. default starting money and experience.

some rules: NO MORALE HACK, if u use the morale hack u will be kicked from the tourney. If you crash then the opponent gets the win unless it's blatantly obvious that it was unintentional (ex: before any action starts or when ur winning), in which case there will be a rematch. If u crash again the win goes to the opponent regardless of the situation. Save the films of your games in case there is a dispute over who won. Report your wins/losses to me/super. We might be in a game so just chillax for a bit until we come out. It will be a matching gens tourney, the gens will be posted after the 20th along with the bracket.

Depending on the number of players that sign up the tourney may or may not be a double elimination tourney.

Well this is all the stuff i could think of. post questions cuz i half-assed this pretty badly and i know i left something out.

(comments? | Gaming | Score: 0)

  Gaming: GTA4 - Grand Theft Auto 4 released for PC

Posted by enzytebob on Sunday, December 07, 2008 @ 19:40:54 EST (1006 reads)
The wait is over, as Grand Theft Auto 4 for the PC was released December 2, 2008. In only a matter of days there has been a large number of gamers that have experienced many bugs, including poor frame rates, short draw distances, crashes, and missing textures; even on powerful gaming machines. Excitement over new multiplayer features exclusive to the PC, turned to disappointment with connection issues and the forced start of the "Rockstar Social Club" everytime you load windows... The included SecuROM copy protection has also been known to cause problems for some users, to the point where a class-action lawsuit has been filed for it's use in previous PC titles such as "Spore".
 
Many have scoffed at Rockstar's responses to the high volume of bugs, passing many of the problems off on graphics driver issues, or even suggesting:
 
"Most users using current PC hardware as of December 2008 are advised to use medium graphics settings. Higher settings are provided for future generations of PCs with higher specifications than are currently widely available."Rockstar's tech support
 
Potential buyers may want to take a wait and see approach with GTA4, as it's true value as a console-to-pc port will be determined by how well Rockstar is willing to patch the game.

(comments? | Gaming | Score: 0)

  Gaming: March Madness 2008 - The Quest for Gold

Posted by enzytebob on Wednesday, March 05, 2008 @ 13:22:54 EST (1962 reads)
The Gold Medal from the KMA Mint
The Gold Medal*

 
The Gold Medal from the KMA Mint, Reserved for only the Absolute Best 2v2 Team in the World. To win the gold medal, simply win four games in a row versus the toughest competition known to man. The Gold Medal Winner is REQUIRED to submit all films, so we can do a story to embellish their 2v2 greatness, a preserve your ulimate moment of glory for all enternity. A streaming video "highlight reel" of your march to A&A immortality may follow in the weeks to come. One day, 16 teams, only ONE Champion of Champions, the Gold Medal WINNER!
 
2v2.kma-clan.com
 
 

(comments? | Gaming | Score: 0)

  Gaming: Axis and Allies March Madness 2v2 Tournament

Posted by enzytebob on Wednesday, March 05, 2008 @ 13:13:51 EST (5310 reads)
Axis & Allies RTS 2v2 Tournament
6:00 PM EASTERN DAYLIGHT TIME
Well it's official, an Axis and Allies 2v2 Tournament! Hard to believe it's been two and a half years since we had the "Good, Bad, and the Ugly" 1v1 Tournament, and it was so fun we just had to do it again...
 
Here's the basics of what we have in store, in our quest to find the best 2v2 team in the world.

Round 16 Team Single-Elimination[*]
Round Assigned Countries/Maps
With 1 Bomb per Team
Round Tournament Completed in One Day
Round Detailed Rules, Settings, and Info 2v2.kma-clan.com

(comments? | Gaming | Score: 5)

  Remembering

Posted by KMAOmaha on Friday, January 11, 2008 @ 15:20:19 EST (2804 reads)
It has been almost a year since Shane Campbell, known to us all as (KMA)Sublime, passed away.  While most of us old-timers of the clan got to know him very well during his time here, he and I were pretty much inseparable.  It seemed that Sublime and I played every game we could together, and spent time just screwing around with each other late into the night.

When I first joined KMA in the summer of 2004, I didn’t really know many people in the clan.  Granted, KMA was much smaller than it is know, but aside from Jax, Sublime was one of the first people I talked to and befriended.  Our friendship grew over the next few months until we became inseparable.  Jax and Spastic, among others, often commented to me that Sublime and I were like 1 person.  Us 3 were probably hit the hardest from this tragedy.  I speak for myself when I say that I shed tears when I heard the tragic news, and I don’t doubt that both Jax and Spastic did.  I had grown away from the game in the few months preceding Shane’s death, and everyone, including Shane, tried to bring me back to the game I had obsessively played over the summer.  While I tried when I could, I had drifted so far away from Axis that I had basically forgot how to play.  When I learned of Shane’s death, there was almost no point for me to continue playing.  I stepped even further away from the game, and even from the clan.  I seriously considered removing myself because I felt like it reminded me too much of the great friendship I had built with Shane.   I spent a lot of my time contemplating what I could have done with those few months.  Shane and I would have, in all likelihood, grown closer.  I already thought of him as one of my best friends, and I just wish I had more time to get to know him, and think of him as a brother.

As the 20th of January approaches, I would ask our clan to do something in memoriam of Shane Campbell.  For someone you never knew face to face, and only by the name of (KMA)Sublime.  For a friend of mine.  For Shane.

(KMA)OmahaBeach[*]

(comments? | Score: 4.75)

  Internet: What are Feeds?

Posted by enzytebob on Monday, January 07, 2008 @ 10:03:29 EST (1934 reads)

What are RSS Feeds?
Image Many websites have links labeled "XML" or "RSS" or "Atom". All this means is that you can find out about updates to that site, without having to visit it in your web browser. This feature is referred to as "syndication" or "aggregation" . Sometimes it's just called subscribing. And these days, instead of one of these words, lots of sites will use a little orange button. The standard one looks like this: Image It's also common to see buttons that say "RSS" or "XML", which looks like this: Image

All these links and buttons simply means this: The site you're viewing has a feed available.

Choosing the right Feed Reader
There are many different options when it comes to subscribing to feeds. A "Feed Reader" is required for using Web Feeds. This tool works like an e-mail program, but no e-mail address is needed. The user subscribes to a web feed, and then will receive updated content, every time updating occurs. Feed Readers may be online (similar to webmail) or offline. Feed readers are used in personalized home page services like iGoogle or My Yahoo or My MSN to put content such as news, weather and stock quotes appear on the user’s personal page. Content from other sites can also be added to that personalized page, again using feeds.

Image Browser Based Feed Readers
Modern browsers have some functionality as feed readers, with Opera probably having the best features at the time of this writing. However, most lack alot the functionality available in other types of feed readers. We'd advise you skip using your browser as a feed reader, at least until the technology improves.

Image Software Based Feed Readers
Well I have to admit I have yet to try any of the software based feed readers. I'm sure there are alot of them. From a "gamers" perspective, I don't want any program that is going to automatically download anything and effect my internet connection. For this reason I've stayed away from these type of readers.

Image Web-Based Based Feed Readers
Probably the easiest and most dynamic way to read all of your RSS feeds is to setup an online reader page. Many sites offer "custom home pages" and let you include the content you are interested in. These would be our TOP PICK and are profiled below...

Image Mobile Feed Readers
Recently a number of mobile readers have arrived to the market. Some newer cell phones and other mobile devices are including RSS reader technology. So, if you have the right device, you can even stay updated on the KMA site on the go... Smile

Here's our Choices for best web-based Feed Readers
Image
Protopage ( LINK )
Probably our favorite of all the web-based feed readers. Many features including public and private "tabs" - and even pages that your friends can edit. All sorts of built in modules and the ability to display just about any feed that you can find. Here's our protopage for just a small example of what you can do:

http://www.protopage.com/kma-clan

Image
Google Reader ( LINK )
Easy to use, and you can also "blog" or syndicate any news stories you like with a couple of clicks. Even your blog has it's own feed, so users can subscribe to your "blog". If you have an existing google account for services such as gmail, no extra registration(s) are required. Here's our shared page for an example of what you get:

http://www.google.com/reader/shared/09837831312260605727

Image
Pageflakes ( LINK )
Easy to setup and register. Probably the best collection of default content, but not able to make your page public. You can share the page via email, and your friends will receive a copy of the page, and they can customize it to their needs. Here's our shared page for an example of what you get:

http://www.pageflakes.com/RO.aspx?pfp=hIylaqZrN0m9qBO916G2RQ

Image
Netvibes ( LINK )
Probably the easiest setup and editing, and the feed reader itself has nice features. No sharing features at the time of this writing, but still everything you might need from a straight-up feed reader.

Image
Blogarithm ( LINK )
Mostly geared toward tracking blogs and RSS feeds, does offer a cool tool to "republish" all your feeds, called a "Blogroll" to add to your blog or webpage. EXAMPLE ( LINK )
http://www.kma-clan.com/blog-roll.html

Other popular web-based Feed Readers
Image
My Yahoo ( LINK )
Well registration was easy enough, but found the interface to be a little slow in IE. Visited the next day and cookies had already forgotten me. You dont really get a publicly share-able page either, can share only by email or IM, which is basically just a way to try and get your friends to sign up too. I suppose if you use yahoo services already it might be ok.... but otherwise not one of our favorites.

Image
My AOL ( LINK )
Visited the next day and cookies had forgotten me, very similar to yahoo, with no publicly share-able page, you can share only by email or IM, which is basically just a way to try and get your friends to sign up too. I suppose if you use AOL services already it might be ok.... but otherwise don't bother.

Image
My MSN ( LINK )
If you already have other msn services such as messenger you can use your same login. But that's about the only reason to use this service. Maybe others have had a better experience, but I found the MSN site to be very similar to their browser, incapable of processing the current version of many feeds. I'm sure MSN and Internet Explorer will catch up someday, but for now, use another service.

Image
KMA FEEDS
Well here's links to FEED PREVIEWS of our RSS FEEDS, and example of what they will look like when viewed with a proper feed viewer. There are multiple options for subscribing to our feeds on our:
FEEDS PAGE
http://www.kma-clan.com/feeds.html


Content
Image Popular Content Pages

Downloads
Image Popular Downloads

Forums
Image Most Replied To Threads
Image Most Viewed Threads
Image Recent Posts

News
Image Popular News
Image Recent News

Web_Links
Image Popular Links

SOURCES - Six Apart - Wikipedia

(comments? | Internet | Score: 0)

  KMA Tabloids: Santa Claus outraged by 'ho ho ho' ban

Posted by enzytebob on Thursday, November 15, 2007 @ 10:10:57 EST (7946 reads)
ColonelMustang writes:  

By: Janet Fyfe-Yeomans and Amanda Grant
November 15, 2007 07:00am

HE  is an unlikely revolutionary but this Christmas, Santa is a rebel with a claus. He is having the last laugh on political correctness - and it's a great big fat belly laugh.  Santas across Sydney are rebelling against attempts to ban their traditional greeting of "ho, ho, ho" in favour of "ha, ha, ha".  Recruitment firm Westaff - which supplies hundreds of Santas across the country - has told its trainees that the "ho ho ho" phrase could frighten children and could even be derogatory to women.  Two Santa hopefuls reportedly quit the course because of the hullabaloo of the ho, ho, ho.

One would-be Santa has told The Daily Telegraph he was taught not to use "ho, ho, ho" because it was too close to the American slang for prostitute. He also quit. 
"Gimme a break," Julie Gale, who runs the campaign against sexualising children called Kids Free 2B Kids, said.
"We are talking about little kids who do not understand that "ho, ho, ho" has any other connotation and nor should they.
"Leave Santa alone."
Australian Childhood Foundation chief executive officer Dr Joe Tucci said it was the latest example of political correctness gone mad.
"There is no stronger tradition for children than Santa's ho, ho, ho," Dr Tucci said.
Yesterday department stores David Jones and Myers and the Westfield shopping centre chain moved to reassure children, and their parents, that Santa and his customary greeting was part of Christmas's present as well as Christmas's past.
A David Jones spokeswoman said they had discussed the situation with Westaff and their Santas would not besilenced.
"Senior management have assured us that Santas provided to David Jones have not been censored in any way," the spokeswoman said.

At Myer, where Westaff also train the fat men in red suit, Santa could not stop laughing about the suggestion.
"Myer has not directed our Santas to refrain from using 'ho, ho, ho' and believe the expression is an important Christmas tradition," a spokesman for Myer said.

Westfield's Santas are recruited and trained by RegProm Marketing and they will be "ho, ho, ho-ing" a Westfield spokeswoman said.
"Westfield Santas are known for their friendly and welcoming nature and know how to deliver a real festive 'ho, ho, ho'."
Sydney mother Maybel Lopez said she wanted her daughter Andria, 5, to grow up hearing Santa's "ho, ho, ho" just like she had and she did not realise it had other connotations.
"It's what Santa has been saying his whole life - my whole life. It is just a normal thing really for him to say 'ho, ho, ho'," Ms Lopez said.
Westaff's national Santa co-ordinator Sari Hegarty wrote to stores explaining the company's position.
"Westaff has been a provider of quality caring Santas for over 40 years," Ms Hegarty wrote in an email.
"Part of our advice to our Santas is that they should be mindful of children having their first Santa experience.
"We ask our Santas to try techniques such as lowering their tone of voice and using 'ha, ha, ha' to encourage the children to come forward and meet Santa. We wish you and your family a very merry Christmas."
Westaff national operations manager Greg Jansz said it was "misleading" to say the company had banned Santa's traditional greeting and it was being left up to the discretion of Santa himself.

(comments? | KMA Tabloids | Score: 3)

  New Recruit: New member in BF2, Vacuuous.

Posted by enzytebob on Tuesday, November 13, 2007 @ 15:44:50 EST (5127 reads)
cmac writes:  
Vacuuous, Godson's pappy has been added to the BF2 roster. He will be a welcome addition to our growing community of players. So all players welcome our newest member. [click here]

(Read More... | 51 comments | New Recruit | Score: 5)

  Website Features: Timezones | Around The World

Posted by enzytebob on Tuesday, October 02, 2007 @ 14:56:20 EDT (3052 reads)
Every wonder what time it is at Gunny's house? Want to syncronize your watch with JaxSaints? Use the handy little tool to find out what time it is anywhere in the world, right here on the KMA site (click here)
© 2003 by Plaino | http://www.plaino.com/

(comments? | Website Features | Score: 5)


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  KMA Security

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